Transforming Your Life: The Power of Identity Over Behavior

Simon Knight
Apr 13
3 min read

Updated: 1 day ago

Have you ever tried to change something in your life, but it didn't last?

Perhaps you attempted to change specific behaviors, like quitting smoking, drinking, binge eating, or procrastinating. Maybe you aimed to be more motivated, wake up earlier, meditate, or generate more action in your life. The reason most changes don't last is that most people are trying to make such changes at the behavioral level rather than at the identity or belief level.

Your identity, beliefs, and values are what DETERMINE the actions and behaviors you take in your life. Think about this...

Your MIND is like a SUPER COMPUTER. Your identity, beliefs, and values are the OPERATING SYSTEM and the Software/Apps on it. This is also known as your "Model of the World" or "Mental Map." Most people are using an outdated operating system and software; they have never updated or expanded it, so the changes they attempt to make are limited.

The Impact of Your Mental Model

Your model of the world guides your perceptions and behaviors. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), the term "model of the world" refers to an individual's beliefs and values, filters, desires, expectations, experiences, and knowledge about the world. It acts like a cognitive GPS from which you interpret situations and navigate through life.

Have you ever had an experience with someone where you had a difference of opinion? This occurs because you have a different mental model of the world than others. Based on your life experiences, you create belief systems about yourself and others. If those experiences are negative, it can lead to overgeneralization.

Cognitive Distortions and Reality Perception

Psychologists use the term "cognitive distortions" to describe irrational, inflated thoughts or beliefs that distort a person's perception of reality, usually in a negative way. Naturally, you tend to trust what your brain tells you. However, there are situations where you need to question what it is telling you.

Your brain is a filtering tool. At regular intervals, it eliminates 99% of what you might perceive around you. The brain can focus on only so many things at once. If you are dissatisfied with your life, it is very likely because you are fixating on one thing. In doing so, you are filtering out all the things happening in the present moment.

Choosing Positivity

There are so many things to be grateful for. Do you believe you can choose to feel good at any moment? When you experience positive emotions, you create more positive generalizations that will serve your model of the world. Abraham Hicks said it best: "Let your dominant intent be to feel good... as you practice this, the Universe, which has been watching you practice, will give you continuous opportunities to express it. So that your life becomes better and better."

Unfortunately, we are conditioned to react to what is happening in a given moment. In turn, we end up associating ourselves with the feelings that accompany that experience. When those feelings are not positive, it is easy to generate negative stories about ourselves and others.

Creating Your Desired Reality

How would you feel if you could choose to feel good regardless of what is happening around and within you? This doesn't mean you have to ignore your problems. Instead, you are consciously choosing to create a reality that you desire. Make it a priority to continuously challenge your belief systems.

If you allow a single worldview to dominate your thinking, you will become narrow-minded. This is a great way to distort your perception of reality and trap yourself in a perpetual state of indifference. As the common saying goes, "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." However, when you make the effort to continuously update your mental models, you prepare your mind for success.

Are You Ready to Take Charge of Your Mind?

If your mental model of the world is not serving you, it’s time to make a change. All beliefs are learned, which means they can be unlearned. In the words of the late great Wayne Dyer, "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Are you ready to change your model of the world?